Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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