My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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