I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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