im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize