My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize