Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize