my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
being pregnant is like rehab
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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