mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
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Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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