my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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