he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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