Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize