im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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