therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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