So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize