Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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