I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
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Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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