I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i can't believe i had my finger in that
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize