new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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