I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize