im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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