Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
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No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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