She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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