Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
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Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
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The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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