if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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