your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize