mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize