Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize