He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
His hands were made for my vagina.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize