Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
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there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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