He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize