when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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