I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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