Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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