Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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