Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize