Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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