I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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