I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize