Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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