Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize