Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize