Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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