Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize