I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize