Plan B is the new Plan A
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize