dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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