It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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