so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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