pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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