girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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